FOR SALE: senate seat

I’ve got a Democratic senate seat for sale! This is the position once held by president-elect Obama that helped propel him into his newfound glory. Do you have presidential aspirations? Want to follow in his footsteps? Then this is the position for you! You too could be an Illinois senator!

Payment options:
1) A substantial salary for myself, either at a non-profit foundation or a labor union organization.

2) Placing my wife on a paid corporate board.

3) Campaign funds. I accept cash money up front!

4) A cabinet post or an ambassadorship for Yours Truly.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime, not to be missed! Remember: “I’m just not giving it up for fucking nothing. I’m not gonna do it!!”

Pastrami on rye

(17:40:02) Comrade Ogilvy: omg i’m so hungry
(17:40:07) Carlotta Chintz: awww
(17:40:11) Carlotta Chintz: is there any food in the house?
(17:40:16) Comrade Ogilvy: i’m craving pastrami on rye
(17:40:40) Comrade Ogilvy: there’s no meats left
(17:43:53) Carlotta Chintz: haha
(17:43:56) Carlotta Chintz: i know the feeling
(17:44:03) Comrade Ogilvy: i want pastrami dammit
(17:44:04) Carlotta Chintz: our fridge, although full, is surprisingly empty
(17:44:13) Carlotta Chintz: what am I supposed to do with a head of bok choy?
(17:44:13) Comrade Ogilvy: and there’s only a couple delis in town
(17:44:15) Comrade Ogilvy: LOL
(17:44:18) Comrade Ogilvy: chop it up
(17:44:20) Comrade Ogilvy: and steam it
(17:44:22) Carlotta Chintz: blech
(17:44:27) Comrade Ogilvy: season it with some bonito flakes
(17:44:29) Comrade Ogilvy: and salt
(17:44:32) Comrade Ogilvy: and a bit of pepper
(17:44:51) Comrade Ogilvy: the only veggies we have are potatos and carrots
(17:44:58) Comrade Ogilvy: and i dont’ feel like peeling either
(17:45:04) Comrade Ogilvy: i just want some pastrami on rye damnit
(17:45:10) Comrade Ogilvy: with spicy mustard on both pieces of bread

I’ve had an insatiable craving for pastrami on rye since last evening. Not just any crappy pastrami sold at a grocer either. I’m talkin’ ’bout the real deal: primo pastrami. I’m craving those big navel cuts of beef brisket that are pickled, seasoned, smoked, and hand cut. You know, a real pastrami sandwich.

After speaking with a couple local connoisseurs, it seems Macri’s Deli in Mishawaka is the place to go for good cuts and tasty sandwiches. However, with lake effect snow currently in effect, there’ll be quite a risk driving all the way over there in the ZZW30 (that’s an MR2 Spyder, for you non-petrolheads out there), especially with the tires in their current dubious condition (read: bald).

Would the quick jaunt over to Macri’s be worth the risk? Maybe so, maybe not. Just as long as I stop typing and actually get my ass out there before dry pavement succumbs to snow and ice… I need my f’n fix!